The ‘silent killer’

— Renee and Evan Brandies recently attend an Association of Aquatic Professionals event to spread the word about their Harlow’s Helping Hands nonprofit. Their son, Harlow, was the victim of accidental drowning. [Photos courtesy Renee Brandies]

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Posted May 13, 2025 | By Jamie Berube, [email protected]

When Renee Brandies and her husband Evan pulled in to pick up her car from a tire shop last summer, she got a phone call that would shatter their world forever. It was her mother, Paula Kirkland, urging them to rush to AdventHealth Ocala Hospital. In a panic, they arrived to find their 18-month-old son, Harlow, fighting for his life after falling into the family’s swimming pool.

“We get to the hospital and there’s probably 10 doctors and nurses just doing chest compressions, just trying to get his heart back and get him breathing. Once they did get him a little more stable, we were transferred to Shands,” Renee Brandies said.

According to Renee, Harlow had an accidental drowning. He fought for his life for 38 days before he passed away on July 28, 2024.

Inspired by Harlow’s tragic drowning, Renee and Evan founded a nonprofit, Harlow’s Helping Hands, to honor his legacy by providing pool safety resources, swim lessons and CPR training to protect and empower families.

THE UNTHINKABLE
It was at UF Health Shands Hospital in Gainesville that Kirkland explained what had happened that day.

In the matter of a moment, a lively poolside game turned tragic when Harlow fell into the water. Surrounded by his big brother, E.J., and E.J.’s football teammates, ages 10 to 13, Harlow had eagerly joined in on a Nerf gun battle and football toss before the unthinkable happened.

The boys were playing by the pool when E.J. noticed Harlow in distress after another boy called out his name. E.J. jumped into the pool to pull Harlow out of the water.

“My mom, during that moment, was outside but had walked inside to change laundry over and she heard a horrific scream and knew it wasn’t good. She ran out and immediately started chest compressions,” she continued.

While Kirkland performed chest compressions, the boys and neighbors sprang into action with one sprinting to a nearby law enforcement officer’s home and another struggling to relay the address to a 911 dispatcher.

“The boys knew most of the address, but they couldn’t remember the full address, so it took a minute for them to really get there. But during that time, my neighbors were over, everyone was trying to do CPR,” Renee said.

Despite their heroic efforts, the lack of oxygen left Harlow with severe brain damage. At Shands Hospital, medical teams battled for 24 hours to stabilize him, but the damage was irreversible.

Janice Ferguson, Evan Brandies’ mother, arrived that day at the family’s home after police were on the scene.

“You just go into survival mode because you’re trying really hard not to think about it,” Ferguson said.

Living less than a mile from Evan and Renee, her immediate concern was for her grandson, E.J., who shares a special bond with her husband, Robert, whom he calls “Papa.”

“My first thing was to call my husband. We said, ‘We’re going to make sure E.J. is okay.’ Him and Papa, they’re so close. E.J.’s hung out with us a lot,” she continued.

Robert took E.J. home briefly to give the boy a moment of calm.

“The police said it was okay, but then they needed to question him, so he came back,” Janice said.

Amid the chaos, she focused on keeping everyone grounded, even as her own heart raced.

“Honestly, I was just trying to help everybody remain calm. And you know, you’re not necessarily calm yourself, but you do the best you can to try to help everybody. We were just praying, you know, just praying that Harlow was going to be okay,” she said.

She didn’t see Harlow until the next day at Shands, a moment that followed a night of anguish.

“It was horrible because, all of a sudden, you’re driving home from work and everything’s cool, and then your life changes. It’s like one moment, life can change very quickly. I remember just screaming, ‘No,’ and hitting my steering wheel. I’m like, ‘Oh, God, no, this can’t happen,’” she continued.

During Harlow’s hospital stay, Evan recalled moments of progress.

“Once we were at Advent, they were able to get a heart rate and stuff back, but then they transported him to Shands, where we spent 28 days with him. He would make progress; they never thought he was going to get his ventilator taken out and he got that out. The next day, we got to take him outside and just hold him, because he still never opened his eyes,” Evan said.

“But they didn’t think he was going to be able to breathe on his own, but he did. So, we were happy. I thought that he was making progress. It was just like every time they gave us good news, like a day or two later, we got bad news again,” he continued.

For Renee, that time at the hospital allowed her to process and accept that Harlow would never be the same.

“There was a lot of brain damage done from the lack of oxygen, and so, after a while, he stopped accepting nutrition. His brain stopped telling his body to absorb it. We had to make the very tough decision to try to see what our next plan of care was,” she said.

Guided by faith, a path emerged.

“Our pastor at Church of Hope held a service and the president of Hospice of Marion County, watching online, felt called to make room for Harlow so he could come home. The pastor told us that, and that was the day after they asked us, ‘What are your wishes?’ It was kind of like God was saying, ‘This is where you’re going to go,’ and we went to the Grace Davis House in Belleview and Harlow was there for about seven days before he passed and gained his wings,” Renee shared.

“It was terrible, the story no one wants to be part of,” she added softly.

“Without God’s strength and his courage, we wouldn’t have been able to get through any of it. We prayed every day while we were in the hospital all day,” Evan said.

Renee said she finds comfort in transforming her grief over Harlow’s tragic loss into a mission to protect others. By raising awareness about the dangers of accidental drownings, she ensures her son’s legacy endures, offering hope through action.

“I truly believe that we all grieve differently and it’s never at the same time. For myself, I feel that just keeping Harlow’s memory alive by trying to help other parents, or grandparents or caregivers, just trying to let them know that this is a real thing and if it can happen to myself, it can happen to anyone,” she said.

“It gives me a little bit of solace knowing that his life was not wasted and that the pain I’ve endured was not for anything, and I think it kind of gives me that sense of I have a job to do as a mother. And as Harlow’s mother, I’m going to make sure everyone knows about his story. I think that gives me a little bit of hope that something will come of this, something good,” she offered.

According to Evan, Harlow’s Helping Hands was a divine calling.

“God put it on our heart in the hospital that whether Harlow made it or not, that we wanted to start a nonprofit for it and bring awareness because we were angry that we had never knew that accidental drowning was the number one cause of death for kids between 1 and 4, or the second leading cause of death for kids 5 to 12. And I just don’t understand why that’s not more common knowledge for people,” Evan said,

“Why are you able to leave the hospital without knowing that, but you can’t leave the hospital without a car seat. This kills more kids than car accidents. Why don’t they tell you that in the hospital; why is no one telling me this?” he asked.

A SILENT KILLER
Renee wishes she had known about what she calls this “silent killer” before it was too late. She now promotes swim training and advocates for CPR, safety equipment and heightened pool safety measures to prevent such tragedies, ensuring Harlow’s loss sparks lifesaving change.

“It is a very silent killer and it’s not what the movies look like. There is no splashing or yelling. It happens in a split second and, in most cases, there’s always people around, but unfortunately, it’s such a silent killer. Looking back knowing that now, I feel like I wouldn’t have been so comfortable with Harlow being around the pool. It just seemed like he was just far beyond his age, as far as his maturity level. I wished I had swim barriers. I wish I had a fence around. I don’t think you can have enough barriers,” she noted.

A part of the Brandies’ mission is to expose the overlooked crisis of accidental drownings, which claims more children’s lives in Florida than car accidents yet, they feel, receives scant media attention. She attributes this to insufficient legislative resources and the issue’s troubling normalcy and has vowed to advocate for policy changes.

“I think that it almost happens so much that it may not be a story. So many kids are dying from this in the state of Florida. We’re the number one state every year, time after time, and I don’t know if it’s just not a good story, but I think it highlights where we’re lacking. Now that I’m a part of the club no one wants to be a part of, I’m going to definitely make sure that everyone knows and try to meet them at that legislative level because something needs to be done or passed,” she explained.

Renee emphasizes vigilant supervision and multiple safety measures to prevent accidental drownings, especially in Florida’s water-rich environment and advocates for comprehensive protection to spare families from tragedy.

“I think the number one thing that’s going to prevent a child from an accidental drowning is an attentive supervisor, like a water watcher,” she said.

According to Safe Kids Worldwide, a “water watcher” is a responsible adult who agrees to watch the kids in the water without distractions and wear a water watcher card. Renee also emphasizes extra layers of protection, such as safety fences and alarms.

Evan echoes the belief that vigilant supervision and multiple safety measures should be put in place to prevent accidental drownings.

“Number one, give them swimming lessons. Number two, always have a water watcher. They can’t just be one person, so if you’re having a pool party, they say you need to rotate your water watcher because if you have one person that’s supposed to watch the water the whole two to four hours, that person becomes complacent and looks down on their phone, email or text message or something like that. They say the best thing is to have a rotation every 15 to 30 minutes so the person’s really paying attention and not sidetracked. Number three, learn CPR in case it does happen, like we hope that it doesn’t ever come to that, but it’s better to know it and not need it than to need it and now know it,” he noted.

Evan also encourages families to let children know they cannot be around water without someone present.

“I don’t think you can do enough, especially here in the state of Florida where everyone has a pool and we’re by natural bodies of water,” Renee said.

According to the Florida Department of Health, from 2019 to 2021, Florida was ranked the highest in the U.S. for unintentional drowning death rate among children ages 1 to 4 years. There are resources available for parents to combat these statistics. For example, the Sunshine Health Florida Medicaid program provides free swim lessons through the Frank Deluca YMCA Family Center in Ocala. While this information is not available on the YMCA website, Sunshine Health members can receive a voucher for the free swim lessons at the YMCA by providing their insurance policy information to the staff for a voucher.

MISSION IN ACTION
Renee and Evan recently put up a table at a FAST (Florida Aquatics Swimming Training) event where they met with a lot of parents who were in disbelief about the prevalence of childhood accidental drownings.

“Their eyes just got really big and they’re like, ‘I had no idea,’” she said.

The couple have also helped spread water safety awareness at events at the Belleview Splash Pad and Howard Academy’s Family Fun Day. Parents and grandparents, deeply moved, signed their kids up for swim lessons immediately.

“A lot of them were like, ‘We’re signing them up right now,’ or ‘I signed my child up after hearing your story,’ and I think that circles back to when I grieve. It kind of helps me,” she said.

Sharing their story with parents to prevent tragedy can be emotionally taxing.

“It’s hard to even talk about it and to sit at a table and try to share your story with parents in hopes to save their kids’ lives,” Renee said.

Ferguson goes to a lot of events with Evan and Renee to give them a break, even doing a few events on her own to help.
“It helps me share Harlow’s story, which helps me hope that we’re helping someone else and they don’t have to go through what we did. We were very blessed that he survived 38 days because everybody told me, ‘God didn’t answer your prayers,’ but he kind of did because the reality of drowning statistics, Harlow should never have survived all those days and we know that it was a blessing,” Ferguson said.

“I’m amazed at the wealth of resources in Ocala. Joining the Marion County Children’s Alliance and the Safe Kids Coalition in Marion County has been eye-opening. It’s a privilege to witness the dedication of so many people who’ve been tirelessly working on these efforts all along,” she added.

A lot of people don’t know that these resources are out there for them to utilize at no cost. So, we’ve just really been trying to dive into it and share that with as many people as possible,” Renee added.

May is National Water Safety Month and Harlow’s Helping Hands has an exciting project in store. They hope to put loaner life vests at every boat ramp in Marion County. The first location will be Ray Wayside Park in Silver Springs.

“We’re in the works of getting a loaner vest station at one of the boat ramps. Our goal is to hopefully have them at every one of them to provide life jackets for small children who are going out and don’t have one. We also have a few other projects in the works that we haven’t had solidified just yet,” Renee said.

DAY BY DAY
Renee emphasized the collaborative effort behind the success of Harlow’s Helping Hands, highlighting the critical support from her family and community.

“A few of our community leaders are also a part of our board foundation. We have wonderful arms around us to help guide us throughout the process. I would not be able to do all that it takes to get to where we’ve come in just a short period of time by myself,” she said.

“They are still reaching out, guiding us and showing us what to do and who to reach out to. We just have had an abundance of support and help guiding us,” Evan stated.

“We can only talk to so many people and with them sharing Harlow’s story it really keeps it alive and it spreads farther beyond what we’re capable of doing. And you know, that’s the whole goal, to bring awareness to this number one cause of our children’s deaths here in Florida,” Renee said. “It’s definitely been very heartwarming and heartfelt to see so many people from all sorts of organizations and backgrounds offering their support and resources. It truly has been moving to see here in Marion County that people love on people and in times like this, they show up in a big way. And we couldn’t be more grateful for that.”

Beyond raising awareness, the Brandies are committed to supporting families grappling with similar losses, meeting them wherever they are in their grief.

“It’s an uncomfortable conversation. A lot of parents who are living this story feel guilt and shame, and I’m not any different from any of them. I’m here to meet anyone where they are on this journey. I don’t think there is any real manual to it,” Renee said. “It’s just day by day, trying to find the new normal.”

To make a donation to the nonprofit, go to ocalafoundation.org/community-foundation-funds/harlows-helping-hands
For updates about Harlow’s Helping Hands, visit FB.com/profile.php/?id=61563360696215
For details about National Water Safety Month, go to nwsm.phta.org